22
GUARANTEED WAYS TO DESTROY A RELATIONSHIP
Relationships are often hard to maintain, even
when two people profess undying love for each other. A major problem
in a relationship is that one or both partners continue to make the
same errors but then cannot understand why the relationship is in
trouble. It is almost as though they are determined to do things their
way, even at the risk of damaging a good thing.
In my clinical practice, I have discovered at
least 22 errors in thinking and communicating that people make, which
if repeated, have the potential of destroying a relationship. Which of
the following errors are you making?
1. Rigidly maintain that you are always right,
even when you do not have all the facts!
2. Never apologize, even when you are proven
wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt!
3. Be relentless in rubbing it in when you are
proven right!
4. Dogmatically maintain that you know your
partner's motives better than he or she does!
5. Assume that your partner should understand
your needs and should respond immediately without being asked!
6. Totally ignore your partner's priorities and
insist on your own!
7. Operate on the assumption that your partner's
sexual need cycle is identical to yours!
8. Add deep psychological meaning to your
partner's sexual disinterest, and take it very personally!
9. Do not ever admit hurt, but go immediately to
the expression of anger!
10. Identify your partner's character flaws and
family secrets and use them to make a point when logic fails!
11. Use guilt to manipulate, to get your own way
or to punish!
12. Become proficient at catching your partner
being bad, but do not ever comment if you catch him or her being good!
13. Cut no slack, yield no ground and push your
argument until your partner walks out the door... then follow the
coward!
14. Do not let go of the past, rehashing your
version of it as often as possible!
15. Cling very very tightly, claiming that you
will surly die if you are ignored!
16. If you are not a clinger, then stay
emotionally/physically distant, and show no signs that you really care
for your partner!
17. Make promises, but never keep them!
18. Be factious so you partner never knows when
you are being serious!
19. Always make excuses for your bad habits!
20. Insist that what you have to say is always
more important that what your partner is saying, so interrupt!
21. Pretend that you understand what you partner
has said, even if you have no idea of the point that was being made!
22. Act as though you do none of the above and
it is your partner who must make all the changes!